Star Wars #1: Skywalker Strikes

Something most of you need to go ahead and accept about me: I'm a HUGE nerd.

So when I found out that Marvel had re-acquired the right to Star Wars and was going to start publishing the comics again, well, I was like a kid at Christmas. Seriously, I jumped up and down, screamed, and made birthday party noises. Everyone at Walmart thought I was nuts.

I have now resolved to blog through this new comic series, as well as two others debuting soon which will be following Darth Vader and Princess Leia. As with my other posts, there will be spoilers. So if you don't want to know everything right now, go away and don't come back until you've done your homework.

Jumping right in then, let me first say that all I know going into this new series is that it takes place during the original trilogy (supposedly right after A New Hope) and that this series is the first in a long line of new material designed to be canonical with Episode VII coming out next December.

The beginning of this issue was very refreshing to me, with the first page simply being a black background with the infamous blue writing stating "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away..."

I freaked when I saw that, no lie.

This is followed by a two-page spread of the standard yellow Star Wars logo against a backdrop of very small, white stars in a pitch black inkwell of space. The we get the opening summary, drawn and styled to look like the words are doing their level best to scroll vertically across the page, just like in the movies.

This is where we see the title of the issue: Skywalker Strikes. The summary tells us that in the wake of the Death Star's demise, the Rebels seek to press their advantage by using some serious offensive strategies. And by offensive, I mean quite a few Stormtroopers were greatly offended by the Rebels as they made fun of their "marksmanship."

The story begins and we see a ship descending into the atmosphere of what we are told is a moon in the Corellian Industrial Cluster, Cymoon 1. Apparently there's weapons factory on this rock, as that's what the heroes in Star Wars like to hit: outposts, factories, and anything with a shield generator. I always wondered why EVERYTHING the Rebels ever had to hit was either heavily guarded or shielded. Was Rebel Command sitting around a table reviewing the spies' information with the sole intention of hitting ONLY those places that were super hard or nearly impossible to hit? "Oh that has a shield generator, four AT-ATs, and about a thousand Stormroopers guarding it. Since those guys can't hit a womp rat with a T-16, let's attack with about fifty men. Cool? Cool."

An Imperial Officer is waiting  on the shuttle to land, making remarks to the Stormtroopers to kill them immediately if there is anything suspicious perceived. This is because all Imperial officers in Star Wars are complete and total wimps. They bark out orders, but half the time they are the ones getting killed, either by Rebels, Jedi, or an angry Vader distributing throat hugs. This pretty much clues me in on what happens next.

Han Solo steps out of the ship, along with two "bodyguards," dressed in the armor known from Jabba's Palace guards, and R2-D2. He announces himself as an emissary from Jabba the Hutt, wanting to make a deal with the Imperials. While Han is told that they must leave all weapons behind, we see Chewbacca perched up high and far off, watching everything transpire from the scope of his rifle. It's then we see that the guards with Han are Rebels. Upon further reading you can tell it's Luke and Leia, with Leia talking to C3PO back on the Millennium Falcon.

They continue into the fully-automated weapons factory as Han begins to talk to Overseer Aggadeen about their pending negotiations. Aggadeen tells Han that these aren't "negotiations," that they will meet with the Negotiator when he arrives and they will accept the terms he delivers. The Overseer then tries to get Han and Co. to wait inside an enclosed, shielded room. Dude, NOBODY puts Han in an enclosed room (that sounded like a geeky version of that line from Dirty Dancing).

As Han refuses to go in, R2-D2 dumps a chemical on the floor. He sticks out his little taser arm we all love so much and hits the chemical, electrocuting three Stormtroopers. Temporary pandemonium breaks out as Luke and Leia reveal themselves and take out the remaining Troopers.  One threat from R2's taser arm convinces the Overseer to divulge the location of the central power core (told you officers were wimps).

It's then we see that C3PO is back on the Falcon, which is hidden in a trash dump. I seriously wonder what it is with these guys and trash. They fall in it, practically drown in it, hide with it, and even BECOME it. I know you guys are Rebels, but you don't have to be trashy in order to kill some Troopers. Let's get some class here, people.

Our heroes make their way to the power core, where Luke has a Jedi moment and decides to keep moving. He finds a room full of slaves and as he is about to free them, their guard shows up with what looks like some kind of energy whip. Luke pulls a Kenobi and chops the guard's right hand off with his freshly drawn lightsaber. He opens the lock and says, "Anyone who hates the Empire, follow me." I feel like all the Jedi after Episode III have to have awesome lines like that, because apparently the ability to cut flips and spins and stuff like that died with Anakin Skywalker (which explains why the writing for the Prequels was so horrendous).

Han and Leia set the power core to overload, and as they begin to leave, Leia asked Han why he would put his face in front of the Empire like that. Han, being the tough guy he is, says he only did it because it was the only way the plan could work. Leia presses again, this time asking what it is that Han really wants. Han says that it wasn't the time to talk about that. My guess, we are seeing the first hints of a romance here. I'm glad Han is a very rough around the edges guy. If he wasn't, this awesome get away scene would have been ruined. Han knows how to get things done.

Luke shows up with all the slaves, and they all prepare to make their escape. Just then, Chewie tells Han that there is a ship coming in. Next we see a Trooper announcing that the Negotiator has arrived. We see this figure on the next page.

It's freaking Darth Vader.

Things take off from here. Han begin to tell Chewie to stand down, but suddenly Leia takes the communicator and orders him to take a shot at Vader if he has one. Needless to say, Chewie takes the shot. What happens next is nothing short of awesome.

Vader senses the incoming shot and blocks it with his lightsaber. More shots are fired and Vader grabs two Troopers with the Force and uses them to shield himself from the blasts, resulting in the Troopers  being hit by ALL of Chewie's blasts. Vader drops their blast-covered bodies to the ground (poor Troopers).

 Why couldn't we see Vader do this kind of thing in the movies? Seriously, why can't we see this great power the former Chosen One wields? All he does in the movies is swing his saber around like a stinking baseball bat and choke a few people with the Force (mostly wimpy officers). On top of this move I like to call Trooper Shielding, Vader then uses the Force to bring down the tower that Chewie was perched on. We don't see Chewie anymore this issue. Vader commands a Trooper to trigger an alarm, alerting everyone of the ongoing Rebel attack.

In the resulting confusion, we see Han calling in to C3PO, telling him to throw the auto-pilot on so they can get out of there. 3PO says he did this five minutes ago, but nothing happened because these ugly, tentacled, scavenger things are taking the ship apart at that very moment. Han tells 3PO to go outside and shoot them. I don't think 3PO will do this. If he does, his entire character will have to be rewritten, resulting in Marvel publishing a five issue limited series called "Bounty Hunter Gold," where our beloved protocol droid becomes a cold-blooded killer and teams up with the Boba Fett and some renegade Jawas.

Back in the factory, Han and Leia are surrounded by Troopers. A scheme is hatched as Han tells Leia that they are going to drive an AT-AT right out of the factory. Honestly, I really wanna see this. I would love to see Han step on some Troopers and bust out of the factory while yelling, "HULK SMASH!!!' Hey, a guy can dream, can't he?

Lastly in this issue, Luke is shown walking down an empty corridor, away from all the commotion. He hears Ben Kenobi talking to him through the Force and Luke proceeds to tell Ben that he wants to face Vader and "end this." Ben says, "Luke, listen to me carefully..." We go to the last page where we see Luke squared up against a fast approaching Vader. Ben finishes his statement.

"Run."

Ben tells Luke to run, which is the wisest thing he could have told him. We all know that if Luke were to face Vader now, well, this would be a very short lived comic book. I personally would like to see him try, but I know that seeing those two fight now would be like watching a trout fighting a Great White Shark. There's just no contest. So sorry, Little Fish Luke. You'll have to face Shark Vader another day.

Forecast: Luke tries to fight, but gets his butt saved by Han smashing through the corridor with the AT-AT while yelling "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!" at Shark Vader. C3PO gets saved by Chewbacca and Leia continues to look for something cool to do in this comic.

It's was hard for me to poke fun at this because, to be honest, I was so stinking pleased with it. This series is off to a great start. Stay tuned for more!!!